What If 'Haruka Version'
by Yukimura Akira
Summary: AU and kinda depressing. You have been warned. A story of their lives from Haruka's POV, from friendship till death do they part. I'm horrible with summaries I know. Read and find out. :x


Disclaimer: Ah, I don't own Sailor Moon at all, don't try to sue me lol.

Akira: This idea came from the middle of nowhere and I'm just dying to get it out of my head lol. I'm sorry for not continuing with other fics at the moment but I decided that I just have to get this out somehow. I'm kind of emo and morbid these days, so don't mind me lol. XD I'm trying my best to update the other stories, so bear with me!

_What If_

**Haruka's POV**

I remember it was just after high school. Whatever had happened back then, was expected of you, wasn't it? You, going out with _him_ I mean. After all, you were attracted to him in the first place, weren't you? Was it just my imagination, or did I detect a hint of disappointment in your ever beautiful blue eyes when I congratulated you for your newly formed relationship with him? And at that moment, I wondered. What if I had objected to your relationship? Would you have gone out with me instead?

It was during our third college year, you came crying to me. I had to suppress my urge of murdering the bastard who made you cry. After all, you would've been upset if I ever hurt him, wouldn't you? Was it just my imagination, or did I detect a hint of disappointment in your melodious voice when I held you close to my heart, telling you that everything would work out with him in the end? And at that moment, I wondered. What if I had taken the opportunity to confess my love for you? Would you have loved me in return then?

That day, was clear as crystal to me. The day you announced your engagement to him was the day I had my hopes crushed by none other than the one I loved the most, you. You sat in his lap, talking to him while I got myself a drink. Was is just my imagination, or did I detect a hint of secret longing in your captivating aquamarine orbs when you looked at me from afar, shifting uncomfortably in his lap as you conversed with him? And at that moment, I wondered. What if it was my lap that you were sitting in? Would you have shifted the way you did in his lap?

Your wedding was the worse event that had ever happened in my entire life. I adjusted my bowtie uncomfortably behind him and clenched my fists which held the wedding rings tight, hoping to destroy those rings with my very hands. Alas, I couldn't do it. After all, I would've ruined the happiest day of your life, wouldn't I? The doors to the church opened and revealed the most mind-blowing sight I've ever seen in my life. There you stood; a fresh bouquet of red and white roses in your delicate gloved hands; _unity_, they symbolize. I felt my gaze following you as you strolled down the aisle elegantly and gracefully, my heart skipping a beat when I met your aquatic gaze.

I hardened my gaze carefully and looked away sharply, my heart aching as I remembered the reason we were gathered in that very church. I listened to the priest; his deep voice rang throughout the white marble walls of the beautiful church. My mind was drifting away, I knew it. You couldn't blame me for it, for I never wanted to be there in the first place. Your voice brought my very soul back into the church unwillingly as I listened to you say the wedding vows. Was it just my imagination, or did I sense a faint hint of hesitation as you spoke the vows, your voice a _little_ shaky? And at that moment, I wondered. What if it had been me standing beside you, exchanging the vows with you, and putting the ring onto your fingers? Would you have hesitated then?

The atmosphere was heavy, I remember. After all, it was a funeral in session. The rain hit me hard as I stood in front of the grave, dressed in a soaked black suit. I felt my eyes burning as my cheeks dampened with water. Seriously, I had no idea whether it was the rain or my tears. It was then, that I felt a spine chilling breeze pass through my entire being. Was it just my imagination, or did I look at your spirit straight in the eyes as they said the three words I've been waiting to hear all my life? And at that moment, I wondered. What if I hadn't known you at all? Would I have felt that unbearable pain course through my soul, my body, and my heart?

And it was at that moment, I realized. It was no use wondering at all. Because I knew somewhere deep in my soul that in the end, I would still fall all over for you again.

After all, a world without you isn't worth living in.

_Chiba Michiru_

_1970-2007_

_Fin._

Akira: Surprise Wow, this is like super emo and short lol. I can't believe I wrote something like this. At first, I killed Haruka and Michiru. And now I'm killing Michiru, tell me how evil I am. -.- I think this is yet one of the best I've done so far on the emo part. Anyway, thanks for reading. Leave a review if you'd like or if this fic has touched your soul in anyway lol.


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